Gatehouse Staff Pillows

"Excuse me, sir. May I see some identification?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Busy office.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Brainstorm in progress.

Sales.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"

Around here it got a little tricky...

'And Steven here takes care of the donkey work.'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

'Miss Hartley, implement me a coffee and a cheese danish.'

Occupant.