House Staff Pillows

"You rang?"

The moment Bradson's career as a butler came to an abrupt halt.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"I didn't spark joy."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Multi-tasking.

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Dancing Doctor

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Kitchen Kapers

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Busy office.