Front Of House Staff Pillows

"Fresh sprinkles for your ice cream?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Counting ribs

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"You owe me five bucks."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Kitchen Kapers

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

'I'd like a round table!'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

Ghostbasters 3

Chef copy robot

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Room for dessert, folks?"

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'Cooking'

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.