Hotel Staff Pillows

Sign reads: Customer service - Ring bell to be noticed.

'I know you said this was a four star hotel, but I didn't expect to see them through a hole in my ceiling!'

'Thanks, that looks delicious, charge it to my room, would you?'

'Does it look like we need internet-access?'

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

"Room service, Sir, You wanted someone to listen to your speech..."

"Where do I swipe?"

'Don't worry, I'm not superstitious.'

The room you gave me was so small every time I bent over I rearranged the furniture.

'King who?'

'Dammit - I forgot to tip the waiter.'

'Here is your room with a minibar.'

"Lucky devil, he's listening to the live Test Match commentary from Australia."

'This is the bell boy.'

'This is not an automatic elevator, sir.'

'Room service!'

'I wish to complain. Someone has left this small chocolate on my pillow.'

'Ah, you must be the cleaner. I'm the dirtier.'

"Faster! By God, you'll earn that tip yet!"

'Hello, Room Service?'

"You cleaned out your desk so efficiently you've been rehired and placed in charge of Housekeeping."

'Sorry, bad reception.'

Mr Atkins at his Ease.

"Complimentary crystal ball to see when the BLT you ordered might be showing up."

Octopus porter.

'That was Colonel Mustard. He'd like a mop, some bleach and several large trash bags brought to the conservatory right away.'

Disturbed

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

Bell boy!

Maid

'Service Lift.'

Unhelpful Porter

Valet Parking.

"Next time you ask the maid for extra towels, be sure to tip her."

'No Sir, it's not sunny here all the time. Never at night.'