Gastronomy Gags Pillows

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Deliboys

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"I like my steak well done."

'YAY! PATE!'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

"There's a caterpillar in my food."

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

Stay at home food pyramid

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'

"Hallelujah!"