Joking Gastronome Pillows

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

'Why the free meal?'

Bangers and Mash

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Lockdown casserole

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

"I like my steak well done."

Murderous Chef

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Damaged goods & lawyer's torts 50 off.

"For supper tonight, we'll have pizza, and cold pizza for dessert."

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

"What will change my life?"

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

"Some volcano roll!"

'They're not hot - my mom said they were 'chilly peppers'?'

'Nice Touch!'

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

"You're right in berating me, ma'am, as I personally decided the price of each entree..."

Suicidal Sheep: '101 Ways with Mint Sauce.'

'Of course this is the freshest free range steak, sir! You can even see the tyre tracks on it!'

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'

Be aware of what your food is up to: protect yourself against snack attacks.

House of Beans.

Where 'Stewed Tomatoes' come from.

'Do you have anything that looks like a cantaloupe but tastes like a cheesecake?'