Gourmet Gags Pillows

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"I might just get a pie."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'Whatever he's eating.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

"I like my steak well done."

'YAY! PATE!'

Stand back - while I whip something up

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

"Just a heads-up, the Mushroom and Crab Risotto doesn't like its photo taken."

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

The mushroom pickers

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

'I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

'Nice Touch!'

"Leave room for sex."

"If you tasted like a Umami, where would you be hiding?"

'Chef's salad as ordered.'

"This artificial flavouring doesn't taste like artificial flavouring."

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

"Some volcano roll!"

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'