Gastronomy Gags Gifts

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Deliboys

"My guess it's guacamole."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"I like my steak well done."

'YAY! PATE!'

"Hallelujah!"

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

Stay at home food pyramid

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'