Gas Fitter Gifts

'Sorry, I'm afraid it was a false alarm. It turns out that 'the emergency gas leak' was my husband.'

'Dear oh dear, what cowboy did this then?'

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"Ahh...He's got wind"

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

Bio Fuels.

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

Natural gas

I think I can...

"Sorry to trouble you, ma'am. We've got a report of a gas leak. If I could just step inside for a minute..."

Home Heating Oil

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

'I wonder how you flush this thing?'

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

Sorry, what did you say? This new double glazing will be good for noise reduction!

'I'm applying for the job emptying fas metres.'

"I had a nightmare that oul and gas had become alternative energy sources."

'Service is just a pastime, pal - my job is to collect taxes.'

'... Service your gas fire?... Certainly, I can not bother turning up this Tuesday morning, if that's convenient.'

Helium Parachute

Peak Oil and its effect on car design.

Gas, water, and electricity being brought to a house through hoses.

'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'

'Six gallons of ethanol, three of it corn, two of it sugar cane and the rest cellulosic biomass.'

'Well, how the heck do you think we breathe fire?'

"More champagne, please, sweetie. . . and thanks. . . !"

"Did the Doctor give you anything for your wind?"

'You're brakes are still a tad spongy, so I've made your horn louder.'

"Where should we put the newly repaired gas turbine engine, Mr Putin?"

"Clean your wallet, Sir?"

Please Don't Overfill Your Tank

Helium (tanker truck)

The Rake's Progress - The young heir takes possession of the miser's effects.

'I think that'll do!' says man to attendent filling up car, as car burps.