Fuel Technician Gifts

Natural gas

'Six gallons of ethanol, three of it corn, two of it sugar cane and the rest cellulosic biomass.'

Peak Oil and its effect on car design.

Bio Fuels.

Why Space Missions Cost So Much.

'My electric car is giving me static!'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Organic Soldering.

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Computer operator welding machine.

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Critical Ethanol report

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"Is that one of those cars that tells you when it needs maintenance?"

"Nap time."

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."