Fuel Technician Gifts

Natural gas

'Six gallons of ethanol, three of it corn, two of it sugar cane and the rest cellulosic biomass.'

Peak Oil and its effect on car design.

Bio Fuels.

Why Space Missions Cost So Much.

'My electric car is giving me static!'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Organic Soldering.

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Computer operator welding machine.

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

You were fixing cars in your sleep again.

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Critical Ethanol report

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"Nap time."