Car Fitter Gifts

'You're brakes are still a tad spongy, so I've made your horn louder.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

Organic Soldering.

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

Turmoil change.

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

A souped up car...

Animals are smarter than we think!

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

"She does this when she's tired."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

DIY.

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

Super glue . . .

"Turn down the bass."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

"This says Hispanic life expectancy has risen to 80 years."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"I can't find the instructions."

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

A man drives a car with the word "LAWYER" painted backwards on the front hood so that it can be read in the rear-view mirrors of other cars.

'Sorry, I'm afraid it was a false alarm. It turns out that 'the emergency gas leak' was my husband.'

Irritable dowel syndrome

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'