Chariot Fixer Gifts

Deux Ex Mechanic

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Waiting for Pants

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

Fricka arrives.

"She does this when she's tired."

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

DIY.

Museum. Celtic smiths were the first to add iron rims to chariot wheels. They should have called them "ferrous wheels"!

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

Super glue . . .

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

"I can't find the instructions."

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

Irritable dowel syndrome

"Get back here and clean out your desk."

"It's garage music."

It's too hard to clean my closet. Take out everything. Throw them into "keep", "donate" or "toss" boxes. Ok. Done!

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

Unfinished Furniture.

"Try to open Grampy's chair a little slower next time, puddin'."