Fitter Gifts

The Rake's Progress - The young heir takes possession of the miser's effects.

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Fitness Programme for babies

Waiting for Pants

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'

Gym: Back and Forth or Going Nowhere.

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'Sorry, I'm afraid it was a false alarm. It turns out that 'the emergency gas leak' was my husband.'

'Do these come in blue?'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

Jeans Styles

Impersonal Trainer.

Womens dressing rooms.

Sorry, what did you say? This new double glazing will be good for noise reduction!

'I wonder how you flush this thing?'

'Can't you workmen use the canteen for your tea break ?'

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

'Dear oh dear, what cowboy did this then?'

'Maybe you could get dressed faster if you lost that speed bump around your waist.'

"I'm getting a slight draught through the double glazing, you fitted for me."

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."

'What makes you think my kitchen was fitted by cowboys?'

'I thought your quote for 'putting windows in' was cheap.'

Woman trying on clothes and ripping them - Breakages to be paid for.

"I'm a 34" struggling in a 36"- let me have a 38"."

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

"Shopfitter? Oh, I thought it was an ad for a shoplifter."

'You're brakes are still a tad spongy, so I've made your horn louder.'