Gas Cylinder Humorist Gifts

'I can't turn it off.'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'Flight simulator'

CLEAR!

Volkswagen Scandal

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'We've found the problem...'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

No Hand Signals

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

Lucky car.

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

Tour de Lance Over. Next year the To de France returns!

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

'Don't be so velodramatic!'

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

'I'm giving mostly gift certificates this year, so I wrap them with junk from the garage to throw people off track.'

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

'It's the very latest thing - four wheel drive.'

It's just until I stop chasing cars.