Fossil Fuel Humorist Gifts

Just another day at a British Petroleum cafeteria.

'It's an extinction notice.'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

Recycling bottle bank.

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

This is where Brent council sends you

"This is a terrible table!"

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"You'll have to have it neat, sir. We're running out of ice."

"Rising sea levels."

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

"Is it safe to come out yet?"

Minnesota Weather.

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

You Are Here.

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

'It's a shame that valuable water gets wasted to wash cars or to take showers. It should be used responsible and for useful purposes only - for example to make whiskey.'

"Let's not migrate, and just say we did.;"

Cactus Huggers

'This should shake things up -- I've just found conclusive evidence that global warming is caused by whales!'

"Now we know what happens when we overachieve the climate goals."

An snail shell with a chimney

'Unusual weather for June'

To Antarctica

Global Warming.

'I'd heard that they like to source their food locally'

'I worry that the warm glow from your sense of smug self-satisfaction could be harming the environment.'