Gas Station Humorist Gifts

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

'I don't want your car... I just want the gas!'

"...two fifty...THREE dollars...three fifty...FOUR dollars..."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Oil shock.

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

'We've found the problem...'

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'I can't turn it off.'

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Lucky car.

No Hand Signals

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Free Range / Deranged

"Make it a gallon and a half. I'm living one day at a time."

Witch steals a traffic man's Go sign.

"If you seek the bathroom key, answer first these riddles three."

'Would you please stop reading over my shoulder!'

De-Caf Drivers Right Lane Only

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

'I'm giving mostly gift certificates this year, so I wrap them with junk from the garage to throw people off track.'

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

It's just until I stop chasing cars.

Losing Money on Gas.

'Your tip just went down substantially!'

'Joan, can you check the suction settings...?'

"Head office told our boss to speed up the checkout process...but he misinterpreted and sped up the conveyor belt instead."