Gas Station Humorist Pillows

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

'I don't want your car... I just want the gas!'

"...two fifty...THREE dollars...three fifty...FOUR dollars..."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Oil shock.

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

'We've found the problem...'

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'I can't turn it off.'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

No Hand Signals

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

Lucky car.

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Free Range / Deranged

"Make it a gallon and a half. I'm living one day at a time."

"If you seek the bathroom key, answer first these riddles three."

De-Caf Drivers Right Lane Only

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

Witch steals a traffic man's Go sign.

'Would you please stop reading over my shoulder!'

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

Losing Money on Gas.

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

'Your tip just went down substantially!'

'Joan, can you check the suction settings...?'

'This car drives so smooth it feels like we're flying.'

"Head office told our boss to speed up the checkout process...but he misinterpreted and sped up the conveyor belt instead."

'Are you out of your mind - can't you see I'm buying gas.'