Service Station Humorist Pillows

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

"Nap time."

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

'We've found the problem...'

"Waiter!"

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

Lucky car.

No Hand Signals

"What's this I hear about you opening an account at another bank?"

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

"I hope they offer same day service."

'Would you please stop reading over my shoulder!'

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

'A table near a waiter please.'

"911? My husband's unresponsive."

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

'Your tip just went down substantially!'

When parcel delivery guys retrain to become waiters....

"You ordered tea sir? This is a luxury hotel so I've not only poured it for you and brought it to your room, but I'm now going to drink it for you."

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

"Good evening, folks. My name is Leonard, and I hold all the cards."

'Would you care for a drink while you're being ignored?'

The poop scooper maid.

"Your German spark plugs won't work in your mini cooper because of Brexit."

'Generally we don't provide separate wake up calls for little teddy bears.'