Petrol Humorist Pillows

'Make sure you get unleaded...'

A horse and rider go to fetch some petrol for a stranded horse trailer.

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'Flight simulator'

CLEAR!

Volkswagen Scandal

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

A Semicolon.

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'I can't turn it off.'

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Lucky car.

No Hand Signals

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

Oil Workers

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"He's worth quite a bit of money but it's all tied up in semen.''

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Hot Water from the bath.

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

New Uses For Excess Coal

It's just until I stop chasing cars.

'Yeah, I think we might need to call a plumber. It's overflowing again.'