Fuel Industry Satirist Pillows

New Uses For Excess Coal

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

Made in China

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'The recession is over, again.'

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

'So I'll become a CEO of a dummy corporation.'

The Euro - R.I.P.

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

Money god

'Wait a minute....!

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

Investments.

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

Euro Bait

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

'You wouldn't threaten your bank manager...er...maybe...'

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

'The price of a stock will fluctuate on these three factors...'

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

The Eurozone Explained

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

"Wow! Good news - the line is getting shorter!"