Gas Guzzler Jokesters Pillows

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

The Hypocrite - So Why Can't Someone Do Something About High Gas Prices?

'I can't turn it off.'

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

"Oh goodie, pigs in a blanket."

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

Gas bar, Full service/Self-serving tightwads

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

I feel so helpless. Fuel price anger counseling – $25. The gas companies could charge me whatever they wanted and I couldn't do a darn thing about it. I'm utterly powerless – a pawn in some sick geopolitical game where I've got no options. What if I can't afford to drive my 6,000-ton SUV two blocks to the gym?!

Sydney Airport - passengers called Barry, Sheila and Skippy.

'We'll need a different package. It deems the new preservative dissolves cardboard.'

Trees talking, "Hey your roots are showing"

"Do I know every strand back there? Nahhh! What's the worst that could happen?"

'Joan, can you check the suction settings...?'

'Your teeth are okay, but your gums will have to come out.'

"Did you notice the 30 mph sign back there?"

Beaches by a power station

'Are you kidding, I used to get high with Smokey all the time.'

'The deceased was a member of their running club.'

"Welcome to New Jersey, the 'What is that smell?' state."

SUV has a drinking problem.

'Busy day?'

Volcanic ash cloud held up with sticks

'Exercise without pain? But what would the point be?'

'Ummm... you do know that camo doesn't actually make you invisible, right Larry?'

Weather Forecast for Hell," Once again it will be hot."

'I don't want your car... I just want the gas!'

Free thank you big spender with each fill up!

Your eyelids are growing heavy … heavy … when you awake you will have fewer teeth and fewer dollars … and you will feel refreshed … I don't know why, but that's why hypnotists always say. ?

Woke up an hour later, cavity filled, teeth cleaned. (woman has shot man with a tranquiliser dart).

"...two fifty...THREE dollars...three fifty...FOUR dollars..."

Gas Guzzler Owners' Support Group.