Gas Guzzler Jokesters T-Shirts

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

The Hypocrite - So Why Can't Someone Do Something About High Gas Prices?

'I can't turn it off.'

"Oh goodie, pigs in a blanket."

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

Gas bar, Full service/Self-serving tightwads

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

Sydney Airport - passengers called Barry, Sheila and Skippy.

'We'll need a different package. It deems the new preservative dissolves cardboard.'

Trees talking, "Hey your roots are showing"

"Do I know every strand back there? Nahhh! What's the worst that could happen?"

'Joan, can you check the suction settings...?'

Beaches by a power station

"Welcome to New Jersey, the 'What is that smell?' state."

'Your teeth are okay, but your gums will have to come out.'

'The deceased was a member of their running club.'

'Are you kidding, I used to get high with Smokey all the time.'

"Did you notice the 30 mph sign back there?"

SUV has a drinking problem.

'I don't want your car... I just want the gas!'

Free thank you big spender with each fill up!

'Ummm... you do know that camo doesn't actually make you invisible, right Larry?'

'Exercise without pain? But what would the point be?'

Volcanic ash cloud held up with sticks

'Busy day?'

Weather Forecast for Hell," Once again it will be hot."

Woke up an hour later, cavity filled, teeth cleaned. (woman has shot man with a tranquiliser dart).

"...two fifty...THREE dollars...three fifty...FOUR dollars..."

Gas Guzzler Owners' Support Group.

'Ha! Ha! Ha! Is this stake made of rain forest wood? The environmentalists will crucify you for using it, Van Helsing!'