Gargoyle Enthusiast Gifts

"Time to go, guys-It's been real…!"

'It's just until we get the other gargoyle repaired...'

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

"I love an ape, secure in his masculinity!"

Football Crazy strip six

Giant gorilla peers at female victim. She says into cellphone: "I can't talk now, he's right here."

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

Due to public pressure international wildlife groups give the Canada goose the official status of 'annoying.'

"Good grief, Wilson! At least act like you're enjoying it! It's for my blog!"

"He was chained to his kennel, and since I have opposable thumbs, I was able to remove his collar and set him free..."

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Now that's just low-down mean."

'Honey, I need the Drano again!'

And make sure my daughter is back by 10pm: You really don't want to see me angry!

Doug finally got a chance to use his karate and he forgot to make the ceremonial bow.'

'You're not the only eight hundred pound gorilla in the room, you know.'

'They took me off the endangered species list? They wouldn't dare!'

'Personally, I think your idea of writing nursery rhymes is dumb, Mother.'

"I keep waiting for the day when Garfield runs out of lives."

Goose escapes the tv.

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

'That's what we evolved from.'

"Happy New Year!"

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

Bizarre sights.

'Eww, when did this building get that hideous gargoyle?'

'It's the ultimate micro brew. Put some hops and yeast in your mouth and gargle.'

'Wrong building you big ape.'

"The inspector's not getting older. He's getting odder."

'Do you have The Jungle Book? I don't know why, but he's desperate to read it.'