Garden Wit Gifts

'Off with their heads.'

Snowprov

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

Snowman of the Apes

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

The Frankenstein snowman.

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'Fancy a swift half?'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

"May I see some ID, Madame? Haha, just kidding!"

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

"Good news - You can get wine in pints now! Bad news - It's British wine."

"What would you serve with toast?"

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

Groom decoration on wedding cake makes good his escape.

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

Misguided Hairstyles of The Animal World.

'Uh-Oh... I better watch my legs! There comes a cook - o - dile!'

"They're bifocal glasses: I can use them to read as well as to see long distance when I'm charging..."

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

'And do you,take Kevin to be your lawful wedded husband for three years or 50,000 miles?'

'Can my own tweets be used against me?'

"Red wine with fish? Do you take me as some kind of a monster?!"

'Stand up straight!'

'Debbie, does this mean it's over between you and I?'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'