Wedding Wit Gifts

'And do you,take Kevin to be your lawful wedded husband for three years or 50,000 miles?'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

Bride grabbing groom's tailcoat.

"Is it okay if I borrow the car for a few hours, Dad?"

'That's Lenny Dunkblatt. He was the best man at our wedding, which isn't saying much.'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

'Debbie, does this mean it's over between you and I?'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'Stand up straight!'

'I'm going to have to take a day off - to get married!'

"No, it's not meant to mean the same as community service."

Groom decoration on wedding cake makes good his escape.

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

Miss America IQ Pageant

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

'Always the wise guy.'

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing."

"She can be outspoken."

When Female Leopards Marry.

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"