Marriage Wit Gifts

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Snowprov

Backfire

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

Doggone

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Czarcasm

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'No, but thanks for asking.'

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

Paper Boy

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

'I don't do 'Goodbyes' ...'

'He never listened to his mother!'

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

You are cordially invited...

A Man Visits A Doctor To Ask About Marriage.

Groom decoration on wedding cake makes good his escape.

"And that's another thing, when did you last take me out ?"