Wedding Day Wit Gifts

Bridegroom asks if he can ask the audience.

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

'Yes, it is important - wake him up!'

Preachers with far too much input

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

Groom decoration on wedding cake makes good his escape.

I know it was the biggest moment in your life, but honey - our wedding was six months ago.

". . . and if anyone here knows any reason why these two should not be wed, any reason at all, like, say, something that might have happened after a long heart-to-heart and a few too many drinks, for instance, last week maybe, something you felt bad enough to bring to Confession, which you definitely should have, because it's pretty serious- anyway, speak now..."

'Jim called to say he apologizes to you and the 300 guests, but he'll have to marry you next week instead. He totally forgot he made plans to go to a boat show this weekend.'

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

'... And do you James, take Cathy to be your lawfully wedded first wife?'

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

'Last seen running away from St. Paul's Church...'

Bride getting ready for her wedding.

'...and despite DNA predictions of incompatibility...'

"Oops!"

"Can you hurry up? My Uber will be here in 3 minutes."

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

Great coaching is about knowing how to give and when to play feedback...

'And do you,take Kevin to be your lawful wedded husband for three years or 50,000 miles?'

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

What's the matter, baby? Henry says he's an atheist, Mum. He doesn't believe in hell. Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.

'Stand up straight!'