Farmyard Wit Gifts

You do realize he writes half his material on the toilet!

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

Dedication to excellence....

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"Do kids eat free?"

'The sty is falling!!'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

"That's... yikes. I mean... what's even going on down there? Honey, I don't think a push-up bra is very flattering on you."

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Farmyard Sinatra - "Start spreadin'...Manure

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

So it's a short back and sides, but leave the horns!

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

It MUST be Valentines Day!

"Start talking."

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

Tropical Cow Tank

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

'Gee, at these prices you'd think they would tie the feedbags on for you.'

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

I see Jerry's had a heart attack!

'I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message after the peep.'

I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets.

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'