Garden Gnomes At Heart T-Shirts

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Show and Tell.

Watering the garden gnome

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

The Perfect Garden.

Animals looking at a map of the crops on a farm.

'How do they know it's breakfast time? It's your garden clock, birdbrain!'

'I'll never forget the first time we met...when that gardener cut you in half with his spade.'

"Ohh darling - how lovely..!!"

Bird sees coo coo bird emerge from birdhouse

Beware of highly intelligent but extremely savage dog.

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"Found it when I was digging the garden...."

"Slimey, what a lovely name."

"I can't believe I threw all that away for a Cox's pippin!"

Gardening store selling Action-Gnome.

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

"Genome, Bobby, not gnome."

'This is what happens when you have short arms!'

Old watering can

'The gnome plays your brother? That's even weirder.'

'Hmm, that would be great for grandpa.'

Elf Farm

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

October: Brush all leaves into a neat pile to rot. They will make valuable plant food.

The G-nome Project (Mapping the genome).

Spring

Mower Fraud!

"I think you've spent too much time in the garden during the lockdown."

'Why would I want a useless little man hanging around the garden when I've already married one!'