Garden Gnomes At Heart Gifts

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Show and Tell.

We practically live out here in the summer.

Watering the garden gnome

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

Drunk Woman Sees Pink Elephants in her Garden.

The Perfect Garden.

Animals looking at a map of the crops on a farm.

"Ohh darling - how lovely..!!"

Bird sees coo coo bird emerge from birdhouse

'How do they know it's breakfast time? It's your garden clock, birdbrain!'

'I'll never forget the first time we met...when that gardener cut you in half with his spade.'

Beware of highly intelligent but extremely savage dog.

"I can't believe I threw all that away for a Cox's pippin!"

Gardening store selling Action-Gnome.

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

"Found it when I was digging the garden...."

"Slimey, what a lovely name."

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"Genome, Bobby, not gnome."

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

Elf Farm

October: Brush all leaves into a neat pile to rot. They will make valuable plant food.

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

'The gnome plays your brother? That's even weirder.'

Old watering can

'This is what happens when you have short arms!'

'Hmm, that would be great for grandpa.'

The G-nome Project (Mapping the genome).

Spring

Mower Fraud!

Welcome to GNOME Alaska

'Why would I want a useless little man hanging around the garden when I've already married one!'