Garden Gnome Gifts

Beware of highly intelligent but extremely savage dog.

We practically live out here in the summer.

'Sometimes, you have to stop and smell the roses another dog has peed on.'

Show and Tell.

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Orange juice shop.

'I think the postman has got lost again.'

October: Brush all leaves into a neat pile to rot. They will make valuable plant food.

'What's wrong with chickens?'

Bird sees coo coo bird emerge from birdhouse

'I invited them in with a Tweet!'

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

"I can't believe I threw all that away for a Cox's pippin!"

"Ohh darling - how lovely..!!"

Spring

Sale! Weed Whackers

The Phantom Of The Garden

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

Watering the garden gnome

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

Drunk Woman Sees Pink Elephants in her Garden.

The Perfect Garden.

"Come on, drink up! Haven't you got gnomes to go to!?!"

Animals looking at a map of the crops on a farm.

'How do they know it's breakfast time? It's your garden clock, birdbrain!'

Gardener of the Year.

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

'. . . He's such a slime ball!'

"No, I'm not selling lawn gnomes. I'm selling knit hats like the one my husband's modeling in the picture."

Gardening store selling Action-Gnome.

That's great, Michelangelo, but the Pope really just wants some gnomes.

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

'Dad, I didn't know you were into sculpture.'