Garage Dramatist Gifts

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

A man taking a bow

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Henrik Ibsen,

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

Life after death

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

When did you last have your oil changed?

Nikolai Gogol

'We've found the problem...'

CLEAR!

'I've been riding small, fast bikes for awhile. I thought it was time to build a bigger motorcycle.'

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

Repairing the UFO

"It's not that I dislike being dead. It's just that death is for dead guys, you know..." Woody Allen dies, but his body keeps talking and talking and talking.

"My garage door opens whenever I change television channels."

"I want you to call that idiot you hired to build our garage...he made it too small for our car!"

'I'm leaving this damn job at the end of the month.' - 'How did you find out?'

'Fill 'er up!'

'You have no new messages in your mailbox.'

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

'Let's face it, we never got along. I'm just sorry it had to come to this.'

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

'I've never felt so alive...'

"I can't approve of your office gossiping, Frank...and after you tell me the latest I want it to stop!"

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

Blues musicians who never found their audience

'I'm giving mostly gift certificates this year, so I wrap them with junk from the garage to throw people off track.'