Garage Humor Aficionado Gifts

'Thanks for putting in a new engine... Pity you forgot to take out the old one.'

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

Life after death

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"That's... yikes. I mean... what's even going on down there? Honey, I don't think a push-up bra is very flattering on you."

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

Cat reading Rommel biography.

'We've found the problem...'

They've come a long way since they started in his parents' garage.

"It's not that I dislike being dead. It's just that death is for dead guys, you know..." Woody Allen dies, but his body keeps talking and talking and talking.

"All I'm getting is the effects of global warming on the ice cap..."

Next Terrifying Military Threats

'Nothing much happened in the Middle East today.... Ha! -- Just kidding.'

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

'You have no new messages in your mailbox.'

'Fill 'er up!'

"It's said to be haunted by the ghost of the fifth earl, who fell on hard times."

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

"I want you to call that idiot you hired to build our garage...he made it too small for our car!"

"The world isn't ready for a book like this. How would you feel about publishing it posthumously?"

'I've never felt so alive...'

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

Blues musicians who never found their audience

"They're meant to be crap, right?"

'He should have planned his wardrobe this morning - his Flies undone...'

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

"Somehow these awards are seeming less special."

This is Dr. Sadie. What's your question, caller? How can I tell if my cold is really bronchitis? Stop yer sniveling. In my day, a body would hope it was bronchitis. It gave you a chance to prove your grit! Nothing like a touch of burning pain, wheezing, and crackling in the chest to separate the women from the girls. What kind of doctor are you, again?

Doomsdayer waves sign saying 'The world isn't going to end, it's just going to suck'.