Graveyard Humorists Gifts

George Upton...who burned the candle at both ends.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Life after death

'He never listened to his mother!'

'We've found the problem...'

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

In the houseplant cemetery.

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

Stop the big guy!

"It's not that I dislike being dead. It's just that death is for dead guys, you know..." Woody Allen dies, but his body keeps talking and talking and talking.

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

'You have no new messages in your mailbox.'

Pet Cemetery.

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

'Fill 'er up!'

Dog steals a bone from a cemetery.

'I've never felt so alive...'

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

Garden spade and fork shaped like a knife and fork.

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

'I think I'll go for a leek!'

Burke and Hare and Hare

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

Man digging real grave for Halloween.

Blues musicians who never found their audience

"It was three hours before we realised that he wasn't playing dead."

'I've decided to go straight!'

"The growing season has barely begun, but I've already been getting death threats."

"He loved football very much."