Graveside Humorist Gifts

'He was a grateful man...just not in a good way.'

"You run into a window, too?"

Life after death

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

'We've found the problem...'

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

Stop the big guy!

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Special Place in Hell...

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"I'll have whatever they're having."

A signaller directing pallbearers

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"It's not that I dislike being dead. It's just that death is for dead guys, you know..." Woody Allen dies, but his body keeps talking and talking and talking.

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

Fisherman Funneral

'You have no new messages in your mailbox.'

Pet Cemetery.

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

'I've never felt so alive...'

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'