Cemetery Humorist Gifts

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

J. B. Dimwiddle

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

The game comes first...

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

I know they told me not to bark

Dead Man's Handel

I told myself I wasn't going to cry at his funeral

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

A signaller directing pallbearers

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

No caption. (Mimes carry an invisible casket from a hearse).

Fisherman Funneral

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

O'Leary's Monuments

'I thought new home prices had fallen.'

'Why is he always hanging around?'

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'