Cemetery Satirist Gifts

"I'm going to put a fir branch on my husband's grave. He always hated fir branches."

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

How life on Earth really got its start.

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"The Nominees"

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

Ah Democracy - Just Like Home

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

Another hot flash?

The game comes first...

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Granny's 100% All Natural Radioactive Waste

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

New uses for excess coal

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

Fisherman Funneral

"Now we know what happens when we overachieve the climate goals."

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

'It's a very common plant on earth.'