Memorial Satirist Gifts

'He'll never hurt anyone again."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

Sock Puppet in Literature

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

Boring Board Meeting

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

The camouflage in vietnam was more comfortable

"All those in favor of eroticizing our annual report 'aye.'"

Ah Democracy - Just Like Home

'Secondhand smoke.'

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

"Well of COURSE it's mostly gobble-dee-gook! Were you expecting something different?"

The game comes first...

"You can huff and puff all you want. The house is foreclosed and belongs to the bank."

'He did it for us.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

'Don't believe everything you read.'

'So what do we have here?' - dart board says, Take the Day Off, Ignore the Loser,Do What the Goof Says, and Act Interested.

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

"I hear Presbyterian is the new Methodist."

"Thank god for Sudoku."

Autumn Leaves

'Remember, guys, there's no 'I'll kill you before I ever budge an inch on any position' in TEAMWORK.'

'Gentlemen, circle around on the spot several times and be seated.' - At the dog AGM

Power Point Hell