Graveyard Humorists Pillows

George Upton...who burned the candle at both ends.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Pet Cemetery.

Life after death

'He never listened to his mother!'

'We've found the problem...'

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

In the houseplant cemetery.

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Stop the big guy!

"It's not that I dislike being dead. It's just that death is for dead guys, you know..." Woody Allen dies, but his body keeps talking and talking and talking.

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

'Fill 'er up!'

'You have no new messages in your mailbox.'

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

'Well, not his very last words, just his last words on twitter.'

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

Pet Cemetery.

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"

She always said that Harold hogged the covers. Mildred Sims. Harold Sims.

Dog steals a bone from a cemetery.

'I've never felt so alive...'

Burke and Hare and Hare

'I think I'll go for a leek!'

"It was three hours before we realised that he wasn't playing dead."

'I've decided to go straight!'

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

Garden spade and fork shaped like a knife and fork.

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

Blues musicians who never found their audience

Man digging real grave for Halloween.

'I'm giving mostly gift certificates this year, so I wrap them with junk from the garage to throw people off track.'

"The growing season has barely begun, but I've already been getting death threats."