Graveyard Humor Pillows

He Watched Sports

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

Life after death

'He never listened to his mother!'

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

'We've found the problem...'

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

'McWit never could build anything level.'

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

In the houseplant cemetery.

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

"It's not that I dislike being dead. It's just that death is for dead guys, you know..." Woody Allen dies, but his body keeps talking and talking and talking.

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"

'Fill 'er up!'

Pet Cemetery.

Owner tells dog to put back all the bones he's dug up

Respects to Kevin Woodcock.

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

Dog steals a bone from a cemetery.

'You have no new messages in your mailbox.'

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

'I've never felt so alive...'

"I never thought I'd have to move back in with my parents."

"It was three hours before we realised that he wasn't playing dead."

"Damn! I STILL can't sleep!"

Blues musicians who never found their audience

Burke and Hare and Hare