Graveyard Humor Fan Pillows

HA HA PAID NO TAXES

'He died happy. Internet advertisers successfully microtargeted his every desire.'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

Dedication to excellence....

Life after death

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'He never listened to his mother!'

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

'We've found the problem...'

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

In the houseplant cemetery.

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

"It's not that I dislike being dead. It's just that death is for dead guys, you know..." Woody Allen dies, but his body keeps talking and talking and talking.

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

'Fill 'er up!'

'You have no new messages in your mailbox.'

Dog steals a bone from a cemetery.

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

'I've never felt so alive...'

What Vampires and Snowmen have in Common

Adam and eve do their laundry,

"I never thought I'd have to move back in with my parents."

Transylvanian Athletics.

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'