Grave Humorist Pillows

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

Pet Cemetery.

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Gee, thanks pal."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Pet Cemetery.

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

German School

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Cat Frankenstein

"Some Debussy, Igor."

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."