Grave Humorist Pillows

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

Pet Cemetery.

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Gee, thanks pal."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

German School

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"Some Debussy, Igor."

Fancy a pint?

Cat Frankenstein

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.