Driving Dramatist Gifts

"... Have you passed?... Well, just let me move these five traffic violation tickets that you picked up, out of the way and I'll check your score."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Southwark Fair.

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

Comedy and tragedy masks

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

A man taking a bow

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

Henrik Ibsen,

The Perfect Foil

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Shakespeare, what do you say we write a comedy?'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

'...and could you refill the vinegar - Genius here thinks it's the wine.'

James Barrie.

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

The Modern Godot

Eugene Ionesco

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

Samuel Beckett

John Masefield.

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

Henrik Ibsen