Galactic Gig Performer Gifts

Double bass in space

'But what is the universe for?'

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

"You are here"

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Do you think it's a form of greeting?"

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

Sir Patrick Moore.

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

"Here's a blues number I wrote after hat shopping the other day."

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

"Are there space-babes?"

You have a lot of patients coming to your for counseling! Yeah, I just saw a supernova who is dealing with burnout. Later, I'll see Pluto about his inferiority complex and a black hole who wants to fill a void in its life. Then Hailey's Comet and his wife will discuss why he's rarely there for her. Since your practice went universal it just keeps expanding! You're so busy! Yeah, my head is spinning!

Craft Show: Earth & Martianware.

"Anything you say, Mr. Einstein, can be used to explain the origin of the universe."

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

"I can take you to my yoga instructor, how about that...?"

Expanding Sun engulfs Planets

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

The Two Pipers: Man playing Flute Pipe.

'That book is not available in this solar system, but we can order it for you.'

"Are you sure they'll be able to read English?"

Alien Painting Moon

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

'Technically, you can't really consider these 'alien visitations'. No offence but this planet is the only dumping station in this corner of the galaxy...'