Gag Gift Giver Pillows

'You know, that Lenny is a real 'glass half empty' kind of guy...!'

Clown car hearse.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

Pharmacy - 3 embarrassing items or less.

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Header: Franchising of Optometry Caption: 'With every new pair of glasses you get a cheap plastic toy of a character from the latest kids movie'

Wrong gift for priest

"I'm looking for a card that says 'You got exactly what you deserve, scumbag!""

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Lavatory Waterfall

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

"Sure I can't pop that in a bag for you, sir?"

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

"You must see someone about your problem."

'He stubbed-my-toe yell sounds a lot like his chest-pounding victory yell.'