Gag Gift Lovers Pillows

'I can't give you truth or wisdom or anything like that. I'm here because my wife locked me out of the house.'

Matryoshka Funeral

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Bubble Gum Farms.

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Lavatory Waterfall

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

The magic of April Fools' morning.

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

"You must see someone about your problem."

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.