Gag Gift Lover Pillows

"Be honest with me. Do I have bad breath?"

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

'Don't make me use my chemical weapons...'

'Of course you feel unwell. You have too much blood in your alcohol stream!'

'Do you sell cologne in bulk?'

'Methane Happens.'

'The only problem with having a laptop is you need a lap!'

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

The Fart Side

'It's a subconscious thought of a true confession that is unconsciously verbalized.'

'Admit it you need glasses, that is my false eyelash you have just sprayed.'

'Tell me more about this strange man...'

'No thanks - When I finish this drink I'm going straight to hell.'

Fire Eater

My uncle was a world-famous chainsaw juggler. For one show.

"An old man uses a stick grabber to pick up a cigarette."

1909 - Pablo Picasso started wearing contact lenses but would never admit they were useless.

Man toasting in a toaster.

Hand dryer sucks up entire person.

(Car)Jack in the box.

'It's for the wife's mother-something REALLY funny and stitch birsting.'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

A Gentleman Flasher

Inventor of the First Ceiling Fan: 'Almost There.'

"Apparently, this is his 'great lost masterpiece...'"

Potato-ade - unleash the awesome power of the potato!

'This is great. A fruit you can eat, drink and wash your ears with.'

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat