Gag Gift Giver Gifts

'You know, that Lenny is a real 'glass half empty' kind of guy...!'

Clown car hearse.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

Pharmacy - 3 embarrassing items or less.

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Header: Franchising of Optometry Caption: 'With every new pair of glasses you get a cheap plastic toy of a character from the latest kids movie'

Wrong gift for priest

"I'm looking for a card that says 'You got exactly what you deserve, scumbag!""

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Lavatory Waterfall

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

The magic of April Fools' morning.

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

"Sure I can't pop that in a bag for you, sir?"

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."