Gag Gift Creator Pillows

My latest invention -- "The Comedy Club".

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Bubble Gum Farms.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Lavatory Waterfall

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

The magic of April Fools' morning.

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

Emergency Underpants

"Sure I can't pop that in a bag for you, sir?"