Gag Gift Occasion Pillows

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

Lavatory Waterfall

'Is it just me or does sht not smell as good as it used to'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Desert island rocket...

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

The magic of April Fools' morning.

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

Emergency Underpants

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87